Pet Cobra

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Friday, March 04, 2005

100 Things

A time-honored tradition. Here are 100 things about me:

  1. I wear size 11 shoes.
  2. I sat in the front row at Journey’s last concert (the original lineup, that is; not the Steve Perry-less version that exists today).
  3. I stood in the front row at the Foo Fighters’ first concert, to atone for #2.
  4. I’ve been pecked in the leg by an irate emperor penguin.
  5. My ’94 Ford Ranger has, as of this writing, 90,020 miles on it and still runs well despite never having any scheduled maintenance.
  6. I can play the bass guitar and the saxophone.
  7. I’ve had a goatee, and currently have a soul patch.
  8. I’ve also had a mullet and a perm.
  9. I saw the original “Star Wars” 13 times at various movie theaters.
  10. My wife was two years old when the original “Star Wars” made its first appearance on the big screen; I was 16. Just kidding. I was 8.
  11. As I type this, I’m listening to “Wearing and Tearing” by the Mighty Led Zeppelin.
  12. I went to high school in Anchorage, Alaska.
  13. I was the editor and humor columnist for my high school newspaper.
  14. I was a frat boy in college.
  15. My fraternity nickname was “Scooby”.
  16. During the college years, I woke up the morning after passing out in the following places: on the roof of my fraternity house (not usual), the hood of my car (interesting), the middle of the old Aztec Bowl’s athletic field (SDSU alums will say “Huh. That’s pretty impressive.”)
  17. I’ve spent a day hanging out with the following people: Michelle Pfeifer, Wolfgang Puck, Howie Mandel, Dennis Quaid; Harvey Weinstein.
  18. I have two tattoos.
  19. I ride a 9’2” custom-made Craig Hollingsworth performance longboard with a three fin-box set up.
  20. I’m a certified scuba diver.
  21. I’ve bribed a Mexican cop.
  22. I went to San Diego State and got my degree in Political Science, emphasis in International Relations.
  23. Immediately after that I worked at SeaWorld for 7 years, teaching people about marine life.
  24. I met Beth there; in fact, I was her boss.
  25. I know at least one amazing animal fact that you don’t. Example: a male walrus is the only mammal that has a bone in its penis.
  26. I was a contestant on “Jeopardy”. Yes, the real “Jeopardy”. With Alex Trebek.
  27. I’ve eaten the following animals: moose, caribou, brown bear, alligator, wild boar, rabbit.
  28. I completed a solo backpacking trip around the entire rim of Yosemite Valley. (None of the aforementioned animals were consumed on that trip.)
  29. The sight of small primates (lemurs excluded) fills me with fear and revulsion.
  30. The greatest beer in the world: Dixie Blackened Voodoo.
  31. The greatest food in the world: cioppino.
  32. The greatest place to get the greatest food in the world: The Cannery Restaurant, Marina Del Rey.
  33. My Starbucks usual: a grande non-fat no-whip vanilla mocha.
  34. Skied and snowboarded; pretty well, I might add. Snowboarding is infinitely more fun.
  35. I have lived within walking distance of the Pacific Ocean since 1992.
  36. I once wanted to pursue a career in journalism.
  37. Then I went to college and changed my mind and wanted to pursue a career as a political consultant.
  38. Then I interned for a campaign and saw what careers in politics do to otherwise nice, normal human beings.
  39. Then I decided that the whole “work/career” thing was overrated.
  40. I’ve been emotionally crushed by two “girlfriends” in the pre-Beth days. Happy to say that both of them have, based on reports from mutual acquaintances, been visited by my buddy, Bad Karma.
  41. I once broke up with a girl because she wanted to sit on my lap at an SDSU football game.
  42. Speaking of games, Beth was a contestant on the New Dating Game.
  43. I want to buy a boat, a 36 foot motor cruiser that sleeps four, to be exact.
  44. Even though I’m prone to seasickness.
  45. I’ve been in a shark cage, nose to nose with an 8 foot long blue shark.
  46. I’ve gotten to swim with dolphins on a couple of occasions.
  47. I’ve gone rock climbing and slept under the stars during a visible lunar eclipse in Joshua Tree National Park.
  48. I’ve driven across both the United States and Canada.
  49. I’ve experienced both earthquakes and tornados.
  50. Damn, I’ve done some pretty cool shit, haven’t I?
  51. I’ve been to six Phish concerts.
  52. I’ve read “Gravity’s Rainbow”.
  53. I own an authentic, game-worn U.S. Eagles rugby jersey.
  54. The color of my Nissan Xterra is Smurf Blue. That is the official name given to it by Nissan, not a product of my creativity.
  55. The other two names we were thinking about for Lucas: Logan and Griffin.
  56. Before I had a kid, I wanted to buy a Harley.
  57. Now that I have a kid, I want a Nissan Quest.
  58. I’m actually a pretty damn good cook.
  59. In fact, I make the best chili I’ve ever eaten. The secret: chipotle peppers and a whole pot roast.
  60. A moose once bit my sister.
  61. I tend to reference semi-obscure movie lines (see #60).
  62. My dog, Mick, is named after a George Clinton song, not after Mick Jagger.
  63. Think about it for a second; you’ll figure out which song I’m referring to.
  64. I am comfortable going to the movies and to nice restaurants by myself.
  65. Now I’m listening to “Ball and Biscuit” by the White Stripes.
  66. I have a really, really good idea for a novel, but I’m too busy/lazy to start writing it.
  67. My dad is a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel.
  68. “Red Meat” is the funniest comic strip out there.
  69. The Onion stopped being funny last year.
  70. The Ten Commandments is the worst movie ever made.
  71. I’ve taken a fencing class.
  72. I’ve taken a karate class.
  73. I could be a ninja!
  74. I’ve run the La Jolla Half Marathon twice.
  75. So, technically, I’ve run a marathon, pausing to rest for a year.
  76. I’m comprised of the following: French, Irish, Russian, Catholic, Jewish.
  77. I own an Xbox but spend less than two hours a week playing it.
  78. I believe that Martha Stewart got off easy.
  79. I believe that Barry Bonds is a liar and a cheat who should be stripped of his records.
  80. I believe that Kobe was innocent. And that he’s a self-centered dirtbag.
  81. I believe that if a sitcom features a fat guy married to a hot woman, it will suck.
  82. It’s taken me three days to complete this list.
  83. Bugs Bunny – hilarious. Tweety – should be a steaming pile in Sylvester’s litterbox.
  84. I, for one, can’t fucking stand “Raymond”.
  85. Travel goals: Spain, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa.
  86. Favorite rock album: “Being There”, by Wilco
  87. Song that I could not get out of my head this morning: 80’s arena-rock classic “On The Loose”, by one-hit wonder band Saga.
  88. Best song to have in your head during a great surf session: “Soul Sacrifice”, live Woodstock version, by Santana.
  89. Song that’s now stuck in my head: “Soul Sacrifice”, live Woodstock version, by Santana.
  90. Height: 5’10”
  91. Weight: 185
  92. Sign: Gemini
  93. Callsign: Viper
  94. Cosine: don’t ask me. I got a C in high school algebra and did not take a single math class in college.
  95. Dream job: writing for Surfer magazine.
  96. Things I hope to accomplish this year: buy a house, buy a new car, start my novel, surf more, improve my daddy and husbanding skills.
  97. Things I hope to have under my belt in five years: a career change, financial independence, a return trip to Alaska, at least one of the countries on my travel list, that boat, another kid.
  98. Things I hope to have under my belt in ten years: Beth and I living in a beach house on some island somewhere, the kids speaking fluent Polynesian.
  99. What I’d like done with my remains after I die: Please dress me up in a Superman outfit, and throw my body off the roof of a downtown skyscraper. I would pass into urban legend…
  100. SPOILER: Rosebud was Kane's sled.

Any questions?

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