Pet Cobra

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004


I'm sure any dads reading this out there are thinking the same thing I am: that it would be a real pleasure to get ahold of this guy, douse him with gasoline, and toss a burning match on him. Thanks, NRA! You've made it much easier for people to shoot up child care centers! (Those of you who don't believe in karma - I give you Charleton Heston.)

One negotiates from a position of strength. Reagan knew this. So do the Iranians, who are busy as bees developing their nuclear weapons programs, because right now there really isn't a whole hell of a lot the U.S. can do about it, since we have our hands full dealing with Iraq. And somebody please slap some sense into Kerry - giving Iran nuclear fuel for "peaceful purposes"? Does Kerry even want to win the election anymore? ("First, we will give Iran nuclear fuel for peaceful purposes. Then I propose we give North Korea our old Atlas rockets, which along with their use as nuclear warhead-carrying intercontinental ballistic missiles can also be used for peaceful purposes - the North Koreans could, for example, make great strides in the study of the effects of rocket travel on kimchee. Finally, I propose we donate our vast stockpiles of machetes to the various warring factions in the Sudan. They could use them to build huts and such.")

I'm telling you - moving to New Zealand is looking better and better. Grab the wife, the kid, and the dog, pile on to a tramp freighter, and live out our days in the Land of the Long White Cloud, raising sheep, rooting for the All Blacks, drinking beer with Peter Jackson, and watching the rest of the world descend into madness. Kerry - you're pushing me that way.

(One more thing about Kerry's Iran proposal. You don't "call their bluff" by giving them more of what they want - namely, the means to make MORE nuclear weapons! You call their bluff by doing what Israel did to Iraq in the 80's - blow up their reactor, and let 'em know that the next time it'll be a cruise missile right through the window of their capital building. To quote Sean Connery - "THAT'S the Chicago way!". For an eerily plausible look at this scenario, rent/Netflix the movie "Deterrance".)

Wow - my blood's really up today. Must be the 'roids.


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