Pet Cobra

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Monday, August 30, 2004

It's always kind of a bummer, the Monday after the end of an Olympics. You may think that the goofy sentiment in the Opening and Closing Ceremonies is naive (why is there always a Young Child as the centerpiece of these Vegas-style productions?), but during those 16 days, the Olympic events take center stage and give us a much needed break from the usual dreary news.

Now I have a couple of Fun Olympic Activities for you!

First, it's Pin The Quote On The USA Basketball Team Member. You have two quotes, one of which was said by NBA gangsta wanna-be Allen Iverson, the other by NBA resident nice guy Tim Duncan. Guess who said what:

1. "I'll try not to share my experiences with anyone....FIBA (the governing body of international bastketball) stinks."

2. "For as anybody who grew up in the U.S., and was able to be a basketball player in the NBA, you understand the things that your country has done for you and your family. It gave you an opportunity to be able to support your family and be recognized as a household name. It was just an honor to be able to do something like that, and I would advise anybody selected to a team like this to take that honor and cherish it. And honestly, this is something that I will cherish even without winning a gold medal. I feel like a special basketball player to make it to a team like this. You're honored to get a chance to represent your country, and what's better than that?"

If you guessed Quote 1 was A.I. - be pleasantly surprised that you're wrong. The first quote comes from Tim Duncan. The second quote was Iverson - after the U.S. lost to Argentina, ending their chances for a gold medal. It's easy to get patriotic when you're whooping your opponents. It's a lot harder when you're vilified at home (by guys like me) and booed and jeered at the Games. Good on ya, A.I. I think you've earned your nickname - that's The Answer of a stand-up guy.

Next, it's "U.S Softball/Women's Soccer Team Member or Adult Film Star?" Guess which is which:

Crysti Bustos
Lovieanne Jung
Cat Osterman
Jennie Finch
Tairia Flowers
Lauren Lappin
Jenny Topping
Joy Fawcett
Shannon Boxx

(Answer: sadly, no porn stars here. You'd never know from those names. Yes, Shannon Boxx is really on the U.S. Women's Soccer Team.)

60% of people polled by CNN indicate that they will not watch the Republican convention. Interesting numbers considering that the race is dead even. I'd be interested to see the numbers for undecided voters. In any case, the key question here: how many people are not watching because Brooks and Dunn are the featured musical performers?

Finally - and after reading the article I'm too dumbstricken (not sure if that's even a real word, but it's how I feel) to continue - here's Time magazine's interview with Laura Bush. Now, I'm lucky to be married to an intelligent woman with a mind of her own. Sometimes I don't think I express enough thanks for that, especially when I read things like:

TIME: Have you ever had a gay couple stay with you in the White House or in Texas?

LB: I'm sure we have.

Read on, and learn the true meaning of the word "vacuous":


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