Pet Cobra

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Thursday, August 12, 2004

I stayed up late last night watching "Kill Bill, Vol. 2", so I'm pretty tired. I'll let some others do the talking for me today.

"I couldn't get a job with the CIA today. I am not qualified. I don't have the language skills. I, you know, my language skills were romance languages and stuff. We're looking for Arabists today. I don't have the cultural background probably. And I certainly don't have the technical skills, uh, as my children remind me every day: 'Dad you got to get better on your computer.' Uh, so, the things that you need to have, I don't have. " - Porter Goss, Bush appointee to head the CIA, as quoted by Michael Moore in the transcript of "Fahrenheit 9/11". Well, at least he's honest.

"I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton's willingness to go into a state she doesn't even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn't imitate it." - Alan Keyes, March 2000.

"You know, I'm not exactly sure how big the national sales tax is going to have to be, but it's the kind of interesting idea that we ought to explore seriously." - George Bush, 8/10/04.

O.k., let's explore this seriously. For the income tax to be abolished, and a national sales tax put in its place, we're realistically talking a 15 to 20% minimum national tax on goods (this is in addition to state sales taxes, averaging around 7%). Add to that fluctuations in consumer spending during recessions, and what we are looking at is another galactically stupid idea put forth by the Goofy Child-President (this is Hunter S. Thompson's favorite term for Bush, and I don't think there's a better description of Bush out there).

John Kerry, I beseech thee - use that intellect of yours, your best weapon against the Goofy Child-President and his Dark Father (Maureen Dowd's funny/creepy tag for Cheney), and for God's sake THINK before you speak! A "sensitive" war on terror? That won't play well with the Xbox Nation. At least put your "sensitive" war on terror in some sort of context. Here's some material for you to use.

"When I referred to being more sensitive in the war on terror, I meant that by working with and being more sensitive to our allies, I will be able to work with them to form a crack team of international commandos, representing the best of the best of the Free World's special forces, kind of like in Tom Clancy's book Rainbow Six, or Mission:Impossible, only more kick-ass."

I oughta be on Kerry's payroll. I'm working on my next populist speech, entitled "No, Cheney - go f**k YOURself!!".

Finally, I leave you to read and ponder this. I really hope the woman who wrote was making it up.


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